What are you
actually building?
For busy men who are starting to wonder where they're actually going.
Why Men Come Here
Exposure to Bigger Vision
Psychologists call it "possible selves." People rarely move toward a future they've never been shown is possible.
Invitation to Real Adventure
Try what you haven't tried. Re-enchant a life that's gone flat with routine.
Accountability to Future Self
Answer to who you said you wanted to be, not just who's convenient today.
Connection to Inner World
Know what you're actually feeling before it runs you.
Attention to Present Moments
Notice what's actually in front of you, instead of what's next.
Command of Clear Communication
Speak the truth clearly, and watch how differently you show up, at work and at home.
The Story
In January 2020, I was sitting in a coffee shop just outside Austin, Texas, with a pastor who was well connected. I'd spent all of 2019 traveling and speaking at schools and churches about courage and building confidence, and I wanted to expand that work in 2020. This was the kind of person who could help me do that.
Over coffee, he asked what I thought about my church's recent decision to become LGBTQ affirming. I'd helped build that church. I was its first paid employee as we grew from 12 people to 500. I'd built the creative arts ministry and spoken from that platform countless times. And now I was watching my mentor and friend, the lead pastor, lose his career and community over a conviction I shared.
But sitting across from someone who could open doors for me, I hedged. I gave him 50% of the truth. I told him I agreed with the direction the church was taking... but that I would never preach about it. I wasn't going to rock the boat.
It was the answer that felt safest. The answer that let me hold onto the possibility of future stages, introductions, and speaking opportunities. And as I heard myself say it, the irony was brutal.
I'd spent the last year traveling around teaching people to be brave while quietly practicing the opposite. Appeasing. Chameleoning. Reading the room and becoming whatever version of myself seemed most likely to be liked, approved of, or invited back.
I wanted to be confident in who I actually was.
But I knew it was going to cost me, and that I needed to practice courage first. Because confidence built on everyone else's approval isn't really confidence.
I wanted to be fully known instead of simply liked. That moment forced me to start asking a much bigger question. What would it look like to build a life in alignment? One I was proud of?
What's Inside?
- Two one-on-one sessions a month
- A monthly book club (book included)
- A weekly lab (an open hour for whatever's live that week)
- Journal prompts, sent between sessions
- Curated podcast playlists for deeper learning
- In-Person Events
